Albums: Like a Virgin (1985 reissue), You Can Dance (1987), The Immaculate Collection (1990), I’m Going to Tell You a Secret (2007), Celebration (2009)
Songwriters/producers: Madonna/Stephen Bray

It’s widely recognised that a song better expressing the pure joy of song and dance simply does not exist. The eponymous groove is just massive - the complex, busy drum machine grounds the song whilst the synth floats in the background; the bassline runs circles around everything else, but never to the detriment of the beat. Madonna herself sounds unrestrainably enthusiastic, her vocals flitting from pure hook to occasional soaring high note via the magic of ‘80s reverb. Despite coming some five years later, I’d call the Immaculate Collection version definitive - the vocals sound fuller and shorn of some unnecessary repetition, not to mention the totally unexpected keyboard solo that somehow fits perfectly.

The lyrics conjure images of a million Madonna wannabes wearing out vinyl grooves in their bedrooms, singing into hairbrushes, making eyes at boys across dancefloors - this was Madonna the teenage idol in full force, commanding an almost Springsteen-esque empathy in the soundtrack to their lives. But ultimately, teenagers and their popstars grow up - Into the Groove was a fleeting yet glorious moment that Madonna the icon thankfully never tried to prolong. And that, folks, is how you drive a mere '80s pop song with oh-so-unimportant, generic lyrics about dancing and singing and love to near-mythological status. Into the Groove feels like an anecdote of teen life - not unlike where I am in the present day - but from a more innocent time in 1985, before all those kids grew up and renounced pop music and became our teachers and bosses and had their own kids. Is there a word for “nostalgia for a time before your birth”? Oh, I know. Envy.

The songwriting’s strong enough that Into the Groove’s survived multiple Madonna recontextualisations too - it works with bagpipes on the Re-Invention Tour and hip-hop jump rope on the Sticky & Sweet Tour - even Into the Hollywood Groove, the GAP ad with Missy Elliott, isn’t too bad.

(that’s Into the Groove’s appearance in Desperately Seeking Susan; here’s the music video as a montage from the film)

Into the Groove obviously transcends Desperately Seeking Susan, the film it was written for, but since I obviously like to reduce entire decades to transient cultural references, the association’s quite strong in my mind. No modern-day parody of '80s excess could possibly contain more amusingly, excessively stereotypically '80s imagery as what’s shown here. But yes, Desperately Seeking Susan and The Terminator really do inform my perceptions of the decade - especially regarding really sluggish discos, where Into the Groove makes its appearance. The film is essentially a comedy of errors, with an absurdly convoluted plot (this hilarious Videogum piece is as close as a summary gets to brevity) to match the worst Dan Brown has to offer. And in her first major acting role, yes, Madonna is not only absurdly seductive, but steals the show - though mostly because she’s effectively playing herself. Rosanna Arquette admittedly doesn’t have much to work with - when not playing a bored suburban housewife/stalker, she plays a foggy-minded recovering amnesiac masquerading as an imitation of Madonna. Oh, and you thought that was confusing. Overall, though, it’s not a bad film - the weird approach to its plot makes it infinitely more interesting than any modern Matthew McConaughey movie. The sheer datedness is really part of its appeal - maybe in 2034, people will laugh at how I watched the whole thing on YouTube whilst the Hangover is injected directly into their consciousness.

(the way I feel about Madonna in 1985… times three)