The Story of My Racial Awakening

This is part of our continuing series of accounts by readers of how they shed the illusions of liberalism and became race realists.

Most of us remember the day our “awakening” began. Something finally slipped out of place in the carefully-constructed edifice of justifications that we rely on in order to think that our society is on the right path.

My awakening started with the words of a black man I knew back during my days living in Los Angeles as a young white man adrift in a world that no longer seemed relevant to anything I cared about. He said once, while we were hanging out discussing the still-recent LA Riots, “If I can walk down a street wearing a ‘Black Power’ t-shirt, why can’t a white guy walk down the street wearing a ‘White Power’ t-shirt?”

We all knew the “official” answer, something I call the Narrative: White people have the power, so when we assert ourselves, it looks like beating up on the poor black people. However, he pointed out that he had a good job that was easy and lucrative, he had a nice apartment in one of the decent Section 8 complexes, he paid no taxes and generally, he was enjoying life. If there was oppression there, it was not doing a good job of oppressing him.

At that point, I still believed in the fiction of modernity: that people were equal, therefore we could concentrate a lot of random warm bodies in the same area, “educate” them in our legal system and philosophy, and become a leading nation by accepting everyone, having freedom, and being compassionate toward the less fortunate. Looking back, it was a nightmare disguised as a daydream. It made no sense, but taken in isolation, its parts seemed plausible, so we all went along with it, thankful for something to repeat that let us sleep at night even as the warning signs — crime, corruption, wasteland pop culture, jail-like jobs — intensified.

Three weeks later I drove to his neighborhood — and walked into a race war. A touchstone incident had occurred, and now black and Hispanic men engaged in hand-to-hand combat on the streets. Police sirens split the afternoon but somehow, no police cars arrived at the war zone itself. AK-47s appeared from balconies and Glocks slipped into palms on the street. A street fight turned into a riot and then, into a small war.

At that moment, my belief in the Narrative — that little story we all tell ourselves in order to think that our society is rising, not falling as all evidence suggests it is — cracked. The racial issue in America, I saw in that moment, was not about whites having power and oppressing blacks; it was centered on the need for each group to have its own territory, autonomy, and control of its future. I realized that racism was pointless, since we all know people of other groups that we love, but that diversity was worse; it would destroy my people if we let it.

This reversed my previous opinions. Growing up in the outer suburbs, I felt bad about how we lived in a white world where black people did all the menial work while white people had all the power and wealth. White hypocrisy struck me as irritating — we could do all the stuff that we hired minorities to do ourselves — and I wondered why my parents, who were “anti-racist,” had no black friends.

Although we would deny it, we recognized the impossibility of diversity; if we invited other groups into our neighborhood, we would strip from them a sense of pride in who they are and in their control over their own futures. They would become deracinated financial units, roped together by the American ideology of commerce and civil rights with no organic culture of their own. We would replace their identity with citizenship in the giant shopping mall with kindergarten cops that America had become by the late 1980s.

Awakenings tend to be more like journeys than moments in a movie when the soundtrack swells and all the characters come together; instead, it is like learning anything cumulative. You discover a few principles and then spend years understanding them, at which point they deepen, and you see their many implications and how they connect with your other knowledge. Once I saw our race problem as more than “white racism,” but diversity being a crisis, I came to understand how race is central to everything — and through that, the importance of genetics and hierarchy.

My journey covered several major American cities as I moved around the country. In San Antonio, Texas, a majority non-white city, the border of a Hispanic community experienced an influx of gentrifying Asians. You would think that this would be cause to celebrate, more wealth coming into the ‘hood, but the fact was that the cholos could care less; they would rather be poor, proud, and independent than be multicultural and buy their Modelo Especial from someone of Korean, Japanese, Chinese, or Vietnamese descent.

Head on north to Dallas, where the black community rages against the dual evils of white flight and Hispanic incursion. As far as I can tell, everyone with a European ancestor headed straight to Fort Worth, turning parts of Dallas into impoverished ruins that resemble New York City in the 1970s. Then the Hispanics came in, taking the jobs that were previously held by blacks, and moving into previously black neighborhoods, displacing the inhabitants.

Go south to Houston, one of the most diverse places in North America. Houston became majority non-white in the early 1980s when Democrats took over the mayoral seat which they have held since that time. The city happily segregated itself, with each race having its own neighborhoods, but even that is changing now. In a diverse society, every group fights for power, and they use complaints of victimhood against each other, which means that no group will ever be satisfied, as even those who wanted to celebrate Houston’s diversity acknowledged:

Nearly 60 percent of white respondents and U.S.-born Hispanic respondents in Harris County, for example, said that relations between different ethnic and racial groups were good or excellent, according to the 2018 survey. Only 42 percent of black residents, 44 percent of foreign-born Hispanic respondents said the same. At the same time, 63 percent of white respondents agreed that “blacks and other minorities have the same opportunities as whites in the U.S. today,” while only 37 percent of black respondents said the same.

When I lived in Detroit, I got to know a number of black people, and recognized in them a desire for racial separation. They were cool with us being work-friends or even casually hanging out, but they wanted to go home to their own neighborhoods and be their own people. On the whole, they did not want whites there.

Detroit, Houston, and Los Angeles felt like zooming forward in time to a fully-diverse Third World America; when I moved to Austin, Texas, it was like going backward in time, because almost half of the city is white. This means that I saw diversity in action before it became entirely dominant.

Where in Detroit and Houston people were race-aware, in Austin they still pretended to be race-blind, but this pretense forced them to engage in what Tom Wolfe called “status signaling,” or exaggerated displays of tolerance. This paralleled the desire of seemingly everyone in Austin to be “hip” and “unique” or different thanks to rakish manners of dress and bizarre behavior. Culture had died, and in the resulting void, people were competing for attention just as much as for power and wealth.

This showed me the progression of diversity: a little diversity like in Austin made people uneasy and turned them into political actors, saying what they thought was accepted in the Narrative instead of what they believed. A little more created an environment like Houston where “ofay” paid everyone’s way and still no one was satisfied. Only in the post-collapse city like Detroit, where no one believed in anything, could groups separate and tolerate each other, simply because they stayed apart, and even then, racial conflict was commonplace.

When I talked about these issues with William Luther Pierce back in late 1990s, I had already taken a hard-line stance on diversity for most of a decade, which is simply: any diversity of any type (racial, cultural, ethnic, religious) destroys a society; societies need unity, and this comes from a homogeneous group not just at a racial level, but an ethnic level. One ethnic group per nation means that the nation can retain its organic culture, most of which is hardwired in genes as preferences anyway, and achieve great efficiencies in performance. It has nothing to do with disliking other groups, but recognizing that diversity destroys civilization.

Homogeneity works naturally. When everyone is from an extended family, you have the same approximate lifestyles, abilities, aesthetic preferences, and orientation in values. You may differ within that sphere, but you agree on the basics and you behave similarly enough that you do not require constant dialogue, meetings, debates, arguments, and propaganda from all sides to figure out what should be done. You just do what is innate to you, and things work out for the best. This is most efficient and has the least amount of internal conflict, and avoids the constant fighting for power by different groups that is common in diverse societies.

In my view, “racism” — a world that originally meant dislike of other European ethnicities, but was applied to race by Communists in the 1930s — arises only when you have diversity. Otherwise, people do not think of other groups much except to dress up as Chinamen for Halloween and have Aunt Jemima sell them pancake syrup.

My awakening led me to rediscover the world outside of ideology. In this world, good breeding takes primary place among your concerns; you realize that some are born good and some bad, and you want to breed more of the good and weed out the bad. You see social hierarchy as inherent and positive, since we all benefit from having the competent in power. With this kind of breeding pressure, we improve over the generations and become great, but this is not possible with mixed-race groups, as we see in the impoverished Third World mixed-race nations across the globe.

Even more, it led me to wholly reject Leftism, since all different degree of Leftism (Communist, Democrat, anarchist, libertarian) are based around a central idea, called in the past the “Big Lie,” that people are equal in ability, sense, and worth. The drive for equality was designed to replace social hierarchy, and Leftists adopted diversity in the 1960s as their method of smashing our organic culture so that it could be replaced with ideology, now a hybrid of socialist and democratic thought called “market socialism” or “neoliberalism.”

On the other side of my awakening, I do not think of race much at all; I focus on my tribe. Right now, we are in trouble, since we have been in decline for centuries. Democracy, equality, and diversity have led us away from health toward insanity and stupidity, and we have been able to keep going only through the wealth and technology of the past. Starting in the 1990s, however, it was clear that this system was failing because it could not solve its problems with the Leftists methods it used, and it would not permit any other methods to be attempted.

The Cold War held the Leftist System in check by keeping the far-Left as a foreign enemy, but when the Soviet Union self-destructed, our Leftists ran wild and adopted a massive diversity program that has
transformed America and Western Europe. This will destroy us, first by constant infighting that exhausts and bankrupts us, and later, by outbreeding, at which point the original genetic framework which gave us our abilities will be gone, replaced by a hybrid of the kind we find in the global south.

For me, race is not a question of crime, average IQ, or even politics. It means survival. If Western Civilization is to survive, it will be through ethnic Western European people, and that means that everyone else must go back home and let us fix ourselves. Most people still see diversity as a question of avoiding “bad areas” and “mean people,” but when we look at it critically, diversity means social decay in its endgame, and it intends to destroy us.

The awakening that began that one summer day took me on a long arc. I started out by opposing racism since it seemed cruel, then embracing equality between racial groups in their pursuit of their own spaces, and finally ending up understanding the importance of inequality for our survival. Most would see my views as racist and classist, but to me, they are simply the logical result of wanting my people to endure and succeed instead of going gently into that good night.

If you have a story about how you became racially aware, we’d like to hear it. If it is well written and compelling, we will publish it. Use a pen name, stay under 1,200 words, and send it to us here.