Lifestyle

Birthday Reflections

As touched upon the other week, this was not quite the 32nd birthday that I had envisioned for myself in my life plan. And on a more immediate note, no one who has had a birthday during lockdown envisioned birthdays where they couldn’t go out for dinner and drinks, where they couldn’t see their friends, but here we are. I’m usually a bit of a birthday hog and like to celebrate the entire week and this year will be so different in many ways.

32 is an odd birthday. It’s not a milestone birthday, it’s not one to feel particularly excited or anxious about. Maybe it’s even the birthday age where people are supposed to stop caring about birthdays. (I’ll never do that.) I like to treat myself for my birthday, I like to celebrate; not only my birthday but anyone’s special day. I will undoubtedly wonder, “Oh no! Am I a child in a 32 year old’s body?” And if that is the price of keeping wonder and joy around in my life, than I suppose I am.

This year I ordered a bunch of peonies to come a few days ago so that hopefully they’ll be in bloom for today. Whilst it is not the birthday I was expecting, I’m going to dress up, put makeup on for the first time in ages (potentially since the lockdown started), eat some delicious food, drink champagne, listen to my favourite songs and see as many people as I can (socially distant – probably over FaceTime).

I’m counting my blessings this year. I have some truly special people in my life who love me. I have a job lined up for the autumn. I have an increasingly positive sense of self-esteem. My life did not turn out the way that I expected it to and that is completely okay. So an obsessive, constantly-anxious, over-worrier, I have made peace with some of the elements of chaos and mess in my life.

And what’s more, I think I like myself, just a little bit more for it.

Now excuse me whilst I go celebrate, and probably buy a retinol cream. (Just kidding, I already have one.)

Are you celebrating any birthdays whilst in lockdown? What did you do?

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like:

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Musings on Turning 30

My 30 before 30 list: Revisited
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Happy Birthday to Me

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