me: a fruit vendor on the street force-fed me a cherry
i went to buy an avocado
was on the phone with j
Madeline: WHAT
me: my mouth was open bc i was talking
and he put a cherry in my mouth
looked at me
and plucked off the stem
he was about 70 years old and Italian
Madeline: HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN
me: I DONT NOW IT HAPPENED SO FAST
Madeline: i like can’t even picture this
me: i wasnt paying attention to what he was doing bc i was talking to j and looking through my wallet for change and i look up and he has a cherry in his hand and then its in my mouth
Madeline: ok so you were standing there buying an avocado
it wasnt like you were walking by and a man just threw a cherry in your mouth
i mean not that its any less INSANE
me: yea i was like standing next to him
Madeline: WHAT DID U DO
me: i was like UM OH GREAT THANKS and walked away
Madeline: omfg
me: what was i suppose to do
Madeline: no that sounds right
but like who the fuck does that
me: some crazy 70 yr old italian fruit man
and a cherry of all fruits!
Madeline: haha ew
thats so weird
was he like smiling
me: yea
Madeline: ewwwwwww
me: yeah
Madeline: well that’s probably gonna be a winner for insane stories for a while
i dont think any of us have more insane stories than that
(nota bene: this is not the actual culprit. i was going to go back to get a photo, but i was afraid of something worse being shoved in my mouth).